


Dean

by deeisabird



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Depression, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Father/Son Incest, First Love, Forced, Growing Up, Homophobia, Incest, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Parent/Child Incest, Rape/Non-con Elements, Running Away, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship, Teenagers, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:08:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25551079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deeisabird/pseuds/deeisabird
Summary: Dean is a 16 year old junkie from a wealthy family, but every family has dark secrets and Dean finds escape in the hands of his teacher.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is literally my first time ever writing anything, so I'd love constructive criticism. 
> 
> This was also kinda rushed i came up with this idea when I was walking to school this morning. Please tell me what you think and how I can improve.

7.09am Monday

The morning was cold. Dean tugged on his blazer sleeve to try keep the chill of the 7 am winds away. The truth was he would never voluntarily show up to school this early, but the threat of suspension pulled him out of bed this morning.

Dean walked through the long hallways of the old building dragging his feet as he made his way to the headmasters office, he always hated that how all the other schools called them principals but his school thought they were all high and mighty.

As he approached the large wooden door it abruptly opened and Dean found himself face to face with his English teacher, a slender young man Mr Macley who was fresh out of uni, Macley looked flustered and surprised that Dean was there.

" Good morning Macley, you look terrible" Dean sneered his way.

Before the young teacher could reply the loud voice of a terrifying man boomed from the room behind them. "Mr Hunters you will not patronize the staff at this establishment" the tall middle aged man walked up to Dean towering over him.

He turned to the young teacher "Thank you Mr Macley I'll speak with you later today". Dean watched as Macley jogged down the hallway noticing that his shirt untucked.

He turned to the headmaster " how are you this morning Matty, I see you spent the morning with a fag" and shot a smirk to the tall man. The man's face turned from annoyance to bewilderment in seconds trying to comprehend what had just been said to him.

He seemed to collect his thoughts quite fast because the next moment he was yelling "HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME IN SUCH AN INFORMAL MANNER, YOU WILL CALL ME HEADMASTER JOHNSON AND NOTHING ELSE AND THOSE WORDS ARE NOT TO BE USED ON SCHOOL GROUNDS EVER". The man's face turned beet red and Dean snickered at the image of the man's entire shaved head going red with it.

“Enter my office and sit on the chair” Dean was then instructed. Doing as he was told he went and sat in the one of two chairs in front of the massive mahogany desk that was in pristine condition for an antique the walls were just like the exterior of the almost castle-like building, lined with large charcoal black stones. Dean sat back and put his legs on the desk, his tattered converses seemingly offensive to the decor.

The Headmaster walked around the desk and sat in his oversized leather chair, making a swatting motion in the direction of Deans old shoes. Dean stared at him and crossed his legs, keeping them on the desk. 

“Now Mr Hunters I will start this meeting by saying if I could expel you, I would do it without so much as a blink, however due to this establishment being built by your Great Grandfather and the notable alumni in your family I can not. So I would like to offer you the support you so seemingly need, I have arranged hands on tutoring from both Mr Macley and myself, here i have made a schedule of the tutoring sessions.” 

Dean grabbed the paper being handed to him and messily stuffed it in his pocket. “I will remind you unless you have a viable reason beforehand you will attend every one of these sessions or there will be dire consequences.” 

Dean rolled his eyes “ Is that all you need sir?” He mocking said to the man.

“For now yes, I will see you after school Mr Hunters” as Dean stood up to leave and he ignored the remarks on fixing his uniform.

Dean left the office and headed to the courtyard. He made his way to his smoking spot behind the shed, it was good because none of the teachers went there. Dean pulled out the joint he had rolled that morning and then fished around his pockets to find his lighter. 

Dean lit up the joint and pulled out his phone, it was 7:30 too early to be at school he thought, just then Mandys name popped up on his screen, not today he muttered while hanging up. Then a voice startled him “got a light?” 

Dean turned around to see Macley standing there, “don't think you should be smoking Andy” he said, handing the lighter to his teacher.

“ I wont tell if you wont” Macley winked at him as he lit his cigarette and gave the lighter back. 

“It's a bit early don't you think?” he said nodding towards the joint Dean was ashing. Dean shrugged.

They stood in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Dean thought for a moment before asking “why’d you agree to tutor me?” . Macley stood there dropping his cigarette butt to the ground and stepping on it “I didnt” he said as he turned and walked away.

3:47pm Monday

Dean walked out of the bathroom stall unrolling the $50 note and stuffing it in his pocket, “that's some good shit man” came with a hard pat on the shoulder from Scott. 

Dean flinched at the pain that shot to his neck. “Come on man watch it with the shoulder” he huffed looking up at his reflection in the mirror. Shit he thought I look terrible, his eyes red, his shirt partly unbuttoned revealing it had been several days since he'd eaten a real meal.

He rubbed his aching shoulder trying to not think of the circumstances that he got it in.

“Hey you still with me man?” Scott asked. “Yeah what's up?” Dean replied, “I was asking where you got the coke from, you seem really out of it man”.

Dean wiped his nose and turned around “its the shit i got from Conner” he lied. He pulled out his phone and looked at the time realising he was already 20 minutes late, he turned to Scott. 

“Look man, I'm late I gotta go. He grabbed his backpack and left the bathroom before Scott had a chance to reply.

He jogged down the hallway making sure Scott wasn't following him as he ran from one side of the school to the other.

Forgetting to slow down he ran into the large door and ricocheted onto the floor. He grabbed his nose to stop the pain. The door creaked open, “Twenty minutes late Mr Hunters” Johnson said standing in the doorway looking down at him. 

Dean stood up and collected his things that were scattered on the floor, looking down and realising he was covered in his own blood. “I'm sorry Sir I lost track of time” he said while trying to use his sleeve to stop the bleeding. “Tends to happen when one is on drugs, Collect yourself and come inside you’ve missed enough already”

Dean was running out of clean sleeve when he entered the office and threw himself on the same armchair he had sat in that morning, when he noticed Johnson hadn’t sat down yet he turned around to only see Johnson's shadow in the hallway talking to someone.

Just then the adjoining office door opened and Macley walked out, stopping at the sight of the 16 year old blonde half wearing his shirt and covered in his own blood.

“Dean I see you made it to the session, eventually.” Dean nodded while still trying to control the massive amount of blood pouring from his face. Macley walked over to Dean putting his bag down.

“Can i help?” he asked. He's just being polite Dean thought, “I wouldn't want to keep you, you should go home”. He replied.

“Oh nonsense, I broke my nose a lot as a kid, I get it, let me help” he said grabbing a box of tissues and hanging them to dean. “Your shirt might cause some problems getting home on the train though, do you have a spare change of clothes?” he asked looking at Dean pitifully.

“Nah i'll be alright nothing wrong walking around covered in blood he tugged his soaking wet shirt, looking at his blood stained fingers.

“If you want, I always keep a spare with me just in case” he reached into his bag and pulled out an athletic tee handing it to Dean. “You don't have to do this,” Dean said, staring at the top.

“It's not a problem,'' Macley said, “Well I best get going, i'll see you tomorrow dean.” he said standing up patting Dean's arm.

And like that Deans calmness turned to rage, “DON'T TOUCH ME FAG” he yelled pushing the teacher away, Macley looked terrified, he swallowed, his Adams apple bobbing, as he backed away slowly holding his arms up in surrender and walked out of the room the look of horror permanently imprinted on his face.

After sitting in his shame for a few minutes Johnson walked back in, I’ve got your blood cleaned up, and I've spoken to your father, about this incident, is your nose ok?” he asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look I would like to discuss the plan to get you back on track, if you are feeling up to it” Dean nodded he could tough it out for an hour he thought. 

5:12 pm Monday

Dean entered the house through the backyard to avoid being seen, he made his way to the kitchen walking inside.

luckily it was empty he thought as he made his way to the staircase and up the stairs as quietly as possible. When he got to his bedroom he pulled off his uniform throwing it on the floor, and pulling his blood soaked shirt out of his bag, throwing it on the pile of clothes.

Throwing on a hoodie and trackies and heading down stairs to go on a run, he walked down the hallways passing the living room seeing mum passed out on the couch with a large red wine stain on the white rug and one of the cleaners trying to silently clean around the woman.

As he opened the front door, Mandy appeared from the street, half tempted to close the door in her face. He thought if anything he was kinda horny so he might as well. 

“Hey, I was starting to worry,” she said as she walked up to him and kissed him.

“Yeah sorry it's been a long weekend i forgot to text you” he stood there awkwardly fiddling with his airpod case. “I was uh, gonna go on a run, um, if you wanna join me?”

“I think I have a better workout in mind,'' she said as she grabbed his hand and led him back into the house, she pulled him down the hallway passing the multiple large living and dining areas and leading him into the indoor pool room. 

Dean pulled her in close as he started kissing her and walking her backwards into the pool and they fell in together, Mandy started giggling as they pulled their wet clothes off and threw it to the side of the pool. 

Dean moved back in to kiss her as they interlocked their bodies under the water her hands grabbing his already half hard dick and jerking him off, Dean made use off his hands one supporting her small supple body and the other making his way to her clit as he rubbed in a circular motion, “Fuck thats good” she moaned as his mouth travelled from her lips to her neck leaving a substantial hickey while he continued to finger her. slipping two of his fingers in her fuck that feels good he thought. Mandy moved herself and put his dick in her using the motions of the pool to guide her rhythm. Dean wasn't sure how long he’d last. Mandy kissed him over and over and deeper and deeper. His head started to fog and his body felt lighter as he started cumming Mandy hastily pulling him out. and finishing him off with a few quick tugs.

Dean sat on the edge of the pool and lay back on the marble heated tiles staring at the ceiling. “I'm sorry, I should have focused on you more,” he said. Not looking at her.

“It's ok, you know i don't mind, but if you maybe want to go again there's a perfectly good bed upstairs” she got out of the pool and walked over to the cupboard full of fresh towels and proceeded to wrap herself in one and throw one at Dean.

“Um Mandy, I wish I could but I'm exhausted, I think I'm just gonna eat and go to bed, you can join me if you want” He made a fake offer knowing her answer beforehand. Mandy wouldn't eat in front of him, mostly because she was bulimic. Dean knew it was an easy way to get rid of her.

Mandy’s face changed real quick, “thanks for the offer babe but i just remembered i have homework i left at home i'll see you another day”. She collected her things real quick and left the room, Dean assumed she would grab some clean clothes from his room.

After lying there in a post orgasmic euphoria for a few minutes he got up wrapping the towel around his waist and leaving his wet clothes in a pile on the floor for one of the maids to deal with. 

Dean starting to feel the comedown realised he was too tired to walk up the stairs and headed to the nearest lounge room collapsing on the softest couch he could find and fading out of reality.

3.21am Tuesday

“Get the fuck up”, Dean felt somthing hit him on the face. He jerked up looking around to see the dim hallway lights lit and the light glow was projecting onto his dad's face. “Why aren't you in your bed?”

Dean sat up confused rubbing his eye. “What time is it dad?” he asked, trying to wake himself up a little more. 

“Dean you know the agreement, come upstairs i got your fix he said waving a small white baggie in his son's face, Dean reached out to grab it but his dad pulled it away. “uh-uh-uh you know the deal upstairs now, Dean stood up not caring enough to notice his nakedness as he made his way upstairs followed by his father, he made his way onto his bed collapsing from tiredness. “You look great today honey” his father muttered while climbing into bed with him.

“I saw surveillance footage of you with that skinny slut today, i bet you were thinking about me,” he said as he opened the bedside table and grabbed the tube of lube. The cap clicking open, squirting it on his fingers. He climbed on top of his son, starting to finger him open.

Dean was too tired to move and wasn't in the mood to fight back. He had already fucked up his shoulder the other day, if he wanted this coke he might as well deal with it. He laid back as he felt the sting of his father opening him up. 

Then he felt it, the uncomfortable jab to his prostate making his back arch and his eyes water, “dad slow down, it hurts” he pleaded trying to keep his voice steady.

His father ignored him going over and over harder and harder, Dean couldn't breathe “stop, it hurts asshole” he raised his voice and pushed his father of of him only realising his mistake when he felt a fair of strong hands grab him by the neck and press him up the wall, “WHAT THE FUCK DID THE LITTLE SLUT JUST SAY” he yelled 

Dean grabbed at his hands trying to get unpinned from the wall but failed. “I'm s.s..sorry daddy” he wheezed out. As he felt the grip loosen from his neck. “Yeah you are, is there anything else you want to tell me?” he asked, his voice sounding like he was ready to kill.

Dean knew the routine and he’d pissed him off enough for one night he night as well just get it over with “yes daddy, please fuck me” he said as monotone as the human voice could get. He felt a slap across his face, “try again” his father said.

Dean put on his softest voice “fuck me in my boypussy daddy, please fuck me” he added a moan at the end. He felt his father enter him and had to retain his gag reflex. He tried to go to a different place like he did when he was younger but the comedown was amplifying every feeling and it was terrible. 

After a few minutes of trusting his father climaxed inside him. And pulled out Dean curled up in a ball as his father climbed off of him and got up from the bed. “You will do better next time” even though it sounded like a question Dean knew it was an order.

Dean waited until he heard his bedroom door open and close and he uncurled himself and sat up grabbing the baggy that was left on his bedside table, grabbing the closest piece of paper he could get his hands on he snorted straight from the bag, he knew he probably had to much but it didn't matter, he climbed out of bed and walked to the en suite turning on the shower and sitting on the floor so that he could curl up and cry.  
He watched as the water mixed with his father's semen created a whirlpool and went down the drain. Dean sat there until his skin turned red from excess hot water. He stood up dripping wet and looked at himself in the mirror, he still hadn't had anything to eat. It was evident by his protruding ribs, his hickeys from Mandy now replaced by choke marks on his neck. He opened up the cabinet and found his razor he made one deep cut in his forearm, and then another and another. 

He must have lost some time cos when he came too he had bandaged his arm, put on pants and was lying on the floor with the windows open. The smell of sex was prominent so his usual routine was to open the windows and air out the room he went into his walk-in pulling down the blanket he kept up there and curled in a ball on his floor. 

He couldn't bring himself to sleep in his bed tonight, he was exhausted but he couldn't sleep. He opened his eyes and looked around his eyes falling on his blood soaked uniform from earlier, the maid would get to it tomorrow morning he thought. But the smell of blood bugging him he stood up and picked up the clothes and took them to the laundry chute. Then his eye caught the tee and he quickly caught it while the other clothes fell down the chute. 

It smelled like caring, it smelled nice, it smelled like him. Dean pulled the shirt over his head and crawled but under his makeshift bed on the floor, he played white noise from his phone and he eventually managed to nod off.


	2. Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter isn't as long as I would've liked it to be because I wrote most of it in my legal class today instead of paying attention.
> 
> please correct me if you notice any mistakes.

9.04 am Tuesday

The feeling of being kicked in the leg startled Dean awake, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, seeing the curly blonde locks before registering Fallon standing there looking down at him. "Why are you sleeping on the floor?" She asked while squatting down to his level. 

"I don't see how that's your business, what do you want?" he replied pulling his knees to his chest, he didn't know what time it was, and he couldn't see over Fallon's shoulder to get a sense of night and day by the windows.

She looked at him, raising one of her eyebrows, as if to ask him if he was being serious. "You're late for school asshole," his cousin stood up, holding out her hand to help him up. He grabbed her outstretched hand and leveraged himself up, taking a minute to steady himself on his feet.

She walked over to his bedside table picking up the baggie that had been left unsealed causing some of the powder to fall on the nightstand." What the fuck is this, I thought you were getting clean?"

Dean's entire body felt heavy, like his bones had been replaced with concrete blocks. He walked across the room over to her, grabbing the baggie from her hand, sealing it and stuffing it in his pants pocket. He loved her like she was his sister, but he was feeling the withdrawals he didn't feel like dealing with anyone's shit this early in the morning. 

He walked over to the door she had left half open and pulled it open gesturing for her to leave. "Get out of my room please, as you so kindly said I’m late for school, unless you want to stay and watch the show, you should leave” Dean stood at the door waiting for her to leave him alone.

Fallon didn't budge, but she chewed on her lips looking him up and down with a look that can only be described as pity, she seemed to be thinking about the next thing she was going to say, and then she just blurted out, "Are you gonna tell me what happened to your neck?”. She reached out touching the dark purple marks, flinching at her touch he took a step backwards. “Looks like you and the girlfriend tried something new,” she joked, her face turning serious when she saw he wasn't laughing with her.

Dean had forgotten about the bruises on his neck, suddenly extremely self-conscious, he pulled up his tee to cover his neck as best as he could, “thanks for stopping by” he said as he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her out the door slamming it behind her. 

He wanted to be alone to assess the damage. Looking in the mirror he saw large red and purple handprint marks on his neck. Cursing himself out that he hadn't iced his neck the last night. He looked at his forearm, scared of what he had done unwrapping the bandage seeing five deep cuts, that were just starting to scab, he walked into the bathroom, stopping at the blood stained razor he'd left on the benchtop, getting rid of evidence he threw it in the bin along with the blood soaked bandage. 

Opening the cabinet and pulling out rubbing alcohol and band aids he fixed up his arm. The alcohol stinging as it touched the open wounds.

Walking out of the bathroom Dean walked up to the nightstand, using his finger to pick up the loose powder, bringing his hand to mouth and gumming the coke. That little bit left him craving more. Giving into his weaknesses, He pulled the baggie from his pocket pouring a small mound onto the nightstand and cut the lines using his Public Transport Card. Snorting the lines with the same rolled up paper he'd used the night before.

Spotting his phone on the floor he picked it up to check the time. The battery was on 30%. He’d have to make it last the day, somehow.

Checking the time Dean realized he was already almost an hour late to school. He went to his walk-in throwing the blanket he had used the night before in the overhead storage. He grabbed a fresh school uniform off the hanger, going to see his reflection in the full-sized mirror. Dean stopped realising he was still wearing Macley’s shirt. He'd forgotten that he'd even put it on the night before. 

Dean thought about it for a few minutes before he put his school shirt on top of his teacher's tee. It still smelled like him, it made Dean feel safer this way, it felt better. 

He pulled the rest of his uniform. Making sure to zip up the fly of his trousers. He pulled his blazer over it, he buttoned up the top button of his shirt and adjusted his tie to try to hide his bruises as best as he could. He headed downstairs, his bag hanging on one shoulder. 

As he got to the kitchen, he saw Fallon speaking to his mother, who was surprisingly conscious this morning, his mother spotted him trying to sneak past and stopped him. Looking at him with eyes of desperation, she loved her son, but she seemed to love the booze and pills a little more. “where do you think you're going without eating first?” she walked over to him pulling him into a hug and placed a muesli bar in his hand. “You got to eat,” she said with a sweet smile. Dean turned to leave but as he was walking away, she called after him’ “you dad asked to see you in his office.”

Dean rolled his eyes and headed in the direction of the office, as soon as he was out of his mum's peripheral vision he booked it and ran as fast as his legs could carry him out of the front door, not shutting it behind him as he left.

1.12pm Tuesday

He heard a loud knock on the stall, “hey man you finished in there? we’re heading to Macca’s” Scott spoke from the other side of the door. It took Dean a moment to process what he had been told.

His brain finally catching up to his thoughts, he replied “Just a minute man, go ahead, I'll catch up”. He crouched back down to the toilet seat finishing the reminisce of the coke he had gotten the night before. Getting distracted in his own world, he barely heard the bathroom door and his friends' voices quiet down.

Thinking they’d left he stood up wiping his nose. Taking a moment to process what he had just done, doing coke off a toilet seat in a grungy old bathroom. He took a deep breath and tried his best to steady himself, as his vision blurred with his tears, he wiped his eyes.

He finished calming himself moments later. Unlocking the stall and opening the door to come face to face with Headmaster Johnson. Dean jumped backwards in surprise. He hadn't realised he wasn't alone for last minute.  
“Nice day to be perving in the boy’s room, isn't it sir” he said to the Headmaster with a snicker afterwards. 

The tall man turned to the teen boys standing behind “gentlemen, leave us for a moment, thank you.” he held the bathroom door open as the three boys scurried out tripping over their own feet as they went.

Johnson turned back to Dean, "Mr Hunters, you are well aware of our drug policy at this school, but however I've seemed to catch to once again doing drugs on school grounds, I will speak to your father about this, and you will sober up and attend your tutoring session this afternoon, that is an order, have I made myself clear?" 

Dean nodded his head looking at his converses. He waited until the headmaster stepped out of his pathway, and he shuffled out the bathroom. Thinking of catching up with his friends. He proceeded to run out of the bathroom. Bumping straight into Scott and the others the second he walked out the door. It looked like they had been standing right outside the door listening into the whole conversation.

"Uh hey man," Scott said awkwardly, looking back at Jamie and Curtis as if to ask them if they should talk about what they heard.

Dean knew by looking at their faces that they had heard everything, there was no point in denying it. He had wanted to keep the tutoring a secret, mostly because his father always told him people knowing your weaknesses made you more vulnerable.

Realising he had been standing in silence for too long he decided to just get it over with. "yeah hey guys so yeah, I got like stuff or whatever cos I'm failing all my classes, and my dad's gonna flip when he hears about the coke" he muttered out biting his lip anxiously.

His friends stood there awkwardly until Scott broke the silence. “Nah its cool man I get it my mum got me tutoring too, so um we should get going before lunch break is over”. The boys muttered in agreement as they headed out of the building into the courtyard and off school grounds, crossing the road in the direction of the Macca’s.

3.30pm Tuesday

Dean stood outside of the room that the crumpled up paper he had dug out of his bag had told him to go to, waiting for his tutoring session with Mr Macley, he was nervous about having to clear the air after he had flipped his shit at the teacher yesterday. Almost like he could hear his thoughts Macley walked up from behind him, “Good job showing up on time today” he said with a smile.

Dean looked at the teacher dazed. It's almost like yesterday didn't happen, he watched as Macley unlocked the door and went inside, Dean following close behind. Macley placed his things on the nearest table and walked over to the desk Dean had sat at. “Can I sit here” he asked. Dean nodded confused as to why he had even bothered to ask.

Macley started talking about the classwork and what areas they would focus on today, Dean watched him as he spoke, focusing his attention on his teacher's lips. He thought about his teacher’s lips and what they would taste like. He thought about Macley’s lips on his lips, on his body, how soft they would be. He wondered what his skin felt like, it looked so soft.

Dean caught himself reaching out to touch his teacher’s arm. He pulled his arm back and tucked it between his legs hoping the teacher hadn't noticed his momentary lapse on sensical judgement. He began to panic as his mind raced thinking that possibly the drugs and abuse had turned him gay. He wasn’t a fag and would never voluntarily suck a cock. So why was he thinking about his teacher like this. 

He tried pulling himself back into focus, but Dean couldn't hear what was being said to him, he was distracted. He looked down inside his teacher's dress shirt when he leaned forward seeing his prominent collarbones stretching over his olive skin. Dean gulped as he found himself wanting to lean in and smell his skin. Dean caught himself staring when he realised the room had gone silent, the teacher had stopped speaking. 

Macley looked at him, his eyes filled with concern, he rubbed the back of his neck with his palm, he seemed to wait a moment until he said. “Hey Dean, Sorry but I have to ask, Headmaster Johnson mentioned something about drugs, and you seem kind of out of it, are you sure you're ok to continue with this session?”.

Dean was instantly snapped out of his thoughts. Oh, he thinks I’m high, of course he does everyone does because that's all I ever do, no one likes the junkie, he would never genuinely like me because I’m me. For some reason what Macley had said hurt more than when other people said it. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, blinking them away before the teacher could notice. He anxiously chewed on his nails. Cursing at himself for getting lost in a nice fantasy for even a few minutes.

Dean looked up into Macley’s eyes searching for his approval, but all he could see was what looked like disappointment, “yeah I’m fine Mr Macley, I'm just tired” Dean stood up wiping his eye. Managing to trip on his chair and barely catching himself as he stuffed his laptop into his bag, “I'm just going to splash some water in my face”. He stood up walking out of the room pulling his bag onto his shoulder. Dean walked into the hallway realising he didn't want to go back into that room he started running to the exit of the school and out onto the street not slowing down until he was at the train station. 

11.27 pm Tuesday

Dean held his knees to his chest, holding his tears back, as he heard the shower turn off about a minute ago. His father walked out of his bathroom, walking up to the bed "look at me Dean". Dean gulped, tucking his head between his knees, closing his eyes tighter.

Luke grabbed Dean by the chin, holding hard enough to leave finger marks. He looked into Dean's eyes. "There's no reason to cry, what are you a pussy. You did well today though. I expect this level of competence from here on." Luke let go of his face and handed a pill bottle to his son. "You nose is starting to look better" 

"Doesn't feel that way" Dean replied, his eyes pinned downwards so that he didn't accidentally make additional unwanted eye contact with his father. 

"You have to do better at school, I'm sick of getting calls that you've been caught doing lines in the bathroom or you run away from tutoring, it's becoming a daily occurrence. Try harder" Dean couldn't bring himself to look at him, he nodded "I'll try harder dad."

His father hummed a non-committal, the bedroom door opened, and closed Dean looked at the bottle his father had handed him, it was a prescription for alprazolam, but that name was scratched out. He opened it seeing that it was still sealed, pulling off the protective cover and pulling out two pills. He used his phone to crush the pills against his phone case. Using a ten dollar note he found on the floor he snorted all the white powder.

He climbed out of his bed still fully naked, he walked to the bathroom avoiding looking at his reflection. He went to the shower turning on the shower to clean himself he scrubbed his body until his legs started to bleed. He stood under the shower until the hot water went cold.

The feeling of the cold water on his skin made him start to shiver, he turned off the water and grabbed a towel. Drying himself off as he entered his room, he knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep for a while, so he put on a clean tank top and shorts. He walked down the hall to the other end of the hall, and into the gym.

He strapped up his hands and pulled the large gloves on top. He played his favourite playlist on the loudest possible setting. As novocaine by the unlikely candidates started playing, he walked up to the punching bag and started punching. As the chorus started playing, he found himself yelling along with the lyrics. And as the song faded away, he found himself just yelling.

Yelling louder than he thought was possible, yelling at the world, yelling at himself. He collapsed on his knees. Realising he was now crying as the tears fell down his face.

He curled into a ball as his crying turned from a quiet whimpering to an uncontrollable wailing. He couldn't hold it in anymore. He was tired, more tired than he had ever felt in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I'm sorry if some of the slang I use is confusing I live in Australia


	3. Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a depressing morning that takes a dark turn.
> 
> CW: Rape/Non Con, Depression, Injuries, Blood

7.20am Wednesday

Dean ignored the sound of his alarm going off again blaring around the room, he had not fallen asleep yet. He was tired. His body felt heavy, he couldn't move. It was as if he was tied down to his bed. He closed his eyes, as his alarm went off again.

And then again. 7.30

And then again 7.40

And then again 7.50

And again 8.00

He hadn't even bothered to snooze his alarm just listening to it go off over and over and over.

He pulled his blanket over his head, tucking himself into a ball, he wasn't going to leave his bed today, he wasn't going to eat today. He wanted to sleep but he couldn't. He felt impossibly tired, yet he couldn't fall asleep.

12.34pm Wednesday

Dean's alarm had ceased, his phone died. He hadn’t moved since he hid under his blanket hours before.

He heard his door open, a small sliver of hope that it was a maid who would clean and leave without bothering him, he knew his hopes were wrong when he heard the lock on his door click. 

He felt a heavy hand fall on his shoulder. “Why aren't you at school?” Luke asked. Dean didn't respond, he didn't move, he stayed under the blanket cave he'd burrowed into hours ago. 

“Dean why aren't you at school?” his father asked, raising his voice this time around. He clenched to blanket as hard as he could, but he wasn't strong enough, the feeling of it being torn from his fists. His entire body was instantly exposed to the cold room around him. He tucked his head between his knees, trying to block the world out.

He didn't want to deal with anything, curling himself tighter. The feeling of strong hands grabbing his wrists and pulling his arms apart pinning them to the headboard. Luke used one hand to keep Dean's arms pinned above him, and his other hand to grab Dean’s face. “WHAT IN THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PROVING, STOP ACTING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, BEFORE I DECIDE TO TREAT YOU LIKE ONE.” He yelled in Dean's face. 

Dean opened his eyes, seeing his father’s face only centimetres from his, “LEAVE ME ALONE, LEAVE ME ALONE, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.” he found himself yelling and kicking at his father. 

It took him a few seconds to process his massive mistake, but by the time he had realised he felt a strong fist across his face, and then another one, and then again, he felt the blood pour from his face, knowing that his nose had been rebroken. His face really wasn't having a great week.

Before he could refocus his mind, he felt his father sitting on his chest and his wrists being tied above his head. “You act like a girl and I’ll treat you like one, and lucky for me your mother has already passed out for the day,” 

As Luke got off the bed to undress himself, Dean took the opportunity to try untying himself, realising his father had used his school tie to restrain him. Dean tugged at it, but it was too tight, and he was starting to feel lightheaded from the large amount of blood still pouring from his face. 

His father noticed him trying to loosen the tie because he climbed back on top of Dean, sitting on his chest and grabbing him by the throat. “I see someone wants it rough today don’t they?” he said with a smile that only meant bad things.

Dean watched as his father tore his shirt from his body and pulled his shorts and boxers off in one tug. “You see Baby, you walk around like a little slut all day, as if you're asking for me to jump you. I know you like having your daddy's cock inside you. it's ok that you like it. I won't tell anyone, you're allowed to like it, just like your big brother huh, he loved it.” Luke smiled to himself Dean watched as Luke rubbed his own cock through his boxers, reliving memories of raping his now dead son.

His father groaned, “Yeah, Parker loved my cock, but he was too much like your mum, with the drugs. A few too many pills and you'll be just like him, buried before you turn 25.” Dean felt himself about to cry. He couldn't talk about Parker like that, he couldn't say that it wasn't true. His brother had been strong. He found himself yelling “THAT'S NOT TRUE, PARKER HATED YOU MORE THAN I DO, THAT'S WHY HE KILLED HIMSELF. JUST TO GET AWAY FROM YOU.” 

And like that it was almost as if he had given himself a death sentence. His father started yelling incoherently and unbelievably loud. As he started punching Dean in the face over and over, the only thing Dean caught being said was an unsteady “I'm going to make you wish you were dead”. Dean tugged at his restraints as hard as he could trying to protect his face from the line of fire being aimed at it but he tugged too hard because he heard a loud cracking and then felt a numbing pain all throughout his right arm. Looking up he saw his arm was bent in half in the forearm. It was broken.

That's when Dean realised the only way he was going to survive the day was if he cooperated, he tried to take as much pressure as he could off his arm. Sitting up still trying to use his elbows to protect his face “Stop please daddy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I only said it because I was jealous." He yelled over his father choking on some of his blood as he opened his mouth. 

Luke stopped punching, his yelling stopped, he looked at Dean and smiled creepily. Dean could tell he had something twisted in mind. "Daddy please fuck me, hard, I can't wait any longer "

Luke nodded caressing Dean's face and getting off his chest. He moved so that he was sitting on his knees at the end of Dean's bed, lifting Dean's legs and placing them on his shoulders. He leaned forward pressing Dean's legs against his own chest. He kissed Dean, “I'm proud you've come to your senses, now tell me what you want me to do to you”. 

Dean knew he had no choice in the matter and had already messed up way too much for the day, so he submitted. “Please fuck me, I only said those things because I wanted you to fuck me hard,”

Luke smiled caressing Deans blood covered cheek, “and where do you want me to fuck you”, Nowhere Dean thought. But instead he replied exactly what he knew his father wanted to hear. “Fuck me in my boypussy please, fuck me hard daddy I want you cock,” he whined tried to sound as genuine as possible.

Dean felt two unlubed fingers enter his ass, realising that his long list of injuries from today's incidents was going to get longer, as he felt his father thrusting his fingers in and out and then adding another finger. He bit his lips to stop himself from screaming from the pain of being fingerfucked in the asshole without any lube. It felt like he was going to be torn in half from the inside.

Dean felt his father pull out his fingers, Luke lifted Dean's hips so that he could get a better view of his son's hole. "Oh, baby your pussy looks ready for me, I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you won't walk normal for days, and every time you move you will think about me inside you." 

Dean took a deep breath as he heard his father spit on his asshole and then felt his father push inside him, slow at first, but as he pulled out, he re-entered roughly, and picked up his pace. Dean was in agonizing pain; he took slow breaths trying to regulate his breathing. His father picked up the pace more, jackhammering Dean, faster and faster until he climaxed inside his son riding out his orgasm while looking in his son's eyes.

Luke fell on top of Deans chest breathing heavily and muttering how good it was. He rolled off Dean lying down next to him. He grabbed Dean's hips, turning him on his side and spooning him. “You did good baby, you could have done better, jealousy is a bad colour on you.” He kissed Dean’s ear.

Dean lay there for a few moments as he heard his father drifting off to sleep, when he was sure he was sleeping he tried again to loosen his restraints. But all it did was cause more crippling pain in his arm. He ass was on fire and he could feel warm liquid dripping down his thighs and onto his bed sheets.

Dean knew it would be unwise to wake his father and with his mother passed out, and since his door was locked he knew none of the maids would find them, he knew his only way of getting medical attention was to wait until his father woke up.

2.13pm Wednesday

Dean felt his father's hand move from his hip, he was starting to wake up, Dean rolled over so that he was on his back again, he watched as Luke sat up and rubbed his eyes, he leaned over and kissed Dean on the lips, “I think we should get you cleaned up and to the hospital, huh baby?” he said as he leaned over untying his son's restraints. Dean's arms dropped to his sides yelping as his broken arm hit the pillow, sitting up and realising he was bed sheets were soaked in his blood.

Luke lifted Dean's body and took him into the bathroom placing him in the bathtub and turning it on. Leaving the room, Dean could hear his father stripping his bed sheets. Dean watched as his father walked back into the bathroom and climbed in with him seeing that his dick was stained with his son's dried blood. 

As the tub started to fill the warm water stung on Dean's asshole. His father moved so that Dean was sitting in his lap, Dean whining in pain as his body was being moved. Dean was tired and couldn't fight anymore, he laid his head back on his dad's shoulder. As the tub filled and encased his body in warm water.

They laid there for a while then Luke climbed out, his body soaking wet, he grabbed a washcloth and started helping Dean clean the blood off his face. “So, it looks like your still bleeding baby,” he said nodding at the bath water that was becoming increasingly redder. “So they're going to ask questions at the hospital and you know that not everyone is allowed to know about the special relationship you and your Daddy have, so when they ask you what happened I want you to stay quiet and I'll do the talking, alright baby? I'll make it worth your while"

Dean knew that his options were stay quiet or tell on his father and end up in a grave at least the former got him high. He nodded looking up at his father, "of course daddy".

9.46pm Wednesday

Dean lay his head back on the hospital bed watching his father staring at his phone. The white door opened, and a doctor followed by two male cops, Luke looking up and seeing the cops, leaning in and holding his son's hand, squeezing it, reminding him of their agreement.

"Hi Dean, I'm Dr Mathers and this is Officer Heath and Officer Smith, we understand that you've had a very hard bad day, but we'd like to ask you a few questions about the assault." Dean kept his eyes down, he shook his head, he wasn't allowed to speak so he wouldn't.

One of the cops came closer to the bed Dean pulled his casted arm across the top of his head he wasn't going to talk. "Dean, my name is Adam, you have to understand we can't help you if you won't talk to us."

Dean shook his head, he rocked himself back and forth mumbling under his breath, "no, no, no, no" The doctor looked at Luke, "Mr Hunters, is there any way that you could answer some questions for us? " Luke nodded in response. "We found a large amount of cocaine and prescription pills in Dean's system, coupled with his broken arm, broken nose, anal tearing and refusal for a rape kit, we have a lot of questions." The doctor shot a pitiful look Dean's way. As he curled himself tighter in a ball, just because he wasn't going to talk, they were going to act like he wasn't there.

"Doc, my son has severe addiction issues, and has been prone to reckless behaviour, ever since his older brother commit suicide a few years ago. I don't know what else I can tell you, he's a teenager trying to deal with grief" Luke replied, sounding a bit rehearsed. The doctor nodded "is this true Dean?" Dean shrugged, still looking down. Luke pinched the bridge of his nose, “Doctor if you had just been raped and beaten within every inch of your life do you think you would be able to talk”

The doctor stared at Luke in disbelief that he had just said those things in front of Dean. Stopping for a moment before he managed to reply, "Mr Hunters we have been considering having Dean admitted on a temporary psychiatric hold, do you believe that Dean could be a danger to himself or others?"

"No Dean would hurt a fly let alone himself" he said trying to reassure the doctor. "Mr Hunters his arms and legs have self-harm scars and his left forearm has cuts that are only days old, look we're concerned for his safety after such a traumatic experience,” Luke shook his head, standing up and looking at the cops, “if you would excuse me officers I would like to speak about my sons medical care in private,” the officers knowing they weren't going to get dean to talk nodded and walked out of the room, Luke watched until the door closed, he proceeded to walk across the room up to the doctor his tall stature towering of the man. 

“Doctor Mathers I would appreciate if you could understand my son will be alright in my care, I will be watching him better from now on, he isn't well but last time I allowed one of my sons to go to a nuthouse he came out worse, now if Dean has been fully treated I would like for him to be discharged sol that he can be taken care of by our family physicians.” The doctor nodded “I’ll get those papers right out Mr Hunters.” as he turned and hurried out of the room.

Dean lay his head back, allowing himself to relax, blocking out his father's snide remarks about people being nosey. As the painkillers they had given him an hour ago started making him weary he drifted off to sleep. 

The feeling of a hand on his arm jolted him awake, he opened his eyes seeing Dr Mathers but not his father, “where's my dad?” 

“He just stepped out for a minute Dean, I’d like to speak with you without your father present” the doctor stood at the side of his bed, “Dean, what caused all of your injuries?”

Dean sighed, rubbing his eyes, “were you not listening before Doc, I pissed off the wrong person and I was beaten the shit out of and raped, why do you keep asking. Just leave me alone” he pulled his knees to his chest making himself smaller. He wasn't technically lying. The doctor looked him up and down nodding, “Dean your sixteen if you would like to stay in a psychiatric ward for a few days, your decision overrules your fathers.”

Dean saw his father's shadow through the crack left in the door. He knew he was listening to their entire conversation “I would rather eat a bag of nails then go to a place like that, now leave me alone,” he sobbed, “please just leave me the fuck alone”. Just then Luke walked in holding two cups of coffee, “Dr Mathers it seems as though you're upsetting my son, please don't talk to him anymore than you just have. I thought I was already clear on leaving him alone. I’m not sure I would like to continue funding this hospital, if this is how they treat all the patients. Now do you have the discharge papers so he can get home and sleep in his own bed?”

The doctor nodded, handing a clipboard to his father, Luke put down the coffees on the chair behind him and took the clipboard, signing the papers and handing them back to the doctor, the doctor nodded and scurried out.

“Let's get you back in your clothes and go home” his dad winked, helping Dean stand up and put on his pants and then his shirt, as his father pulled his jacket over his casted arm there was a loud knock on the door and in walked a man that Dean recognised, he’d seen him a dinner parties and fundraisers at his house, Luke looked up and smiled, walking over and shaking the man's hand. “Dr Hanratty, it's good to see you”.

“Likewise Mr Hunters, I understand that there were some issues with one of our doctors and I want you to know that the actions of an overinvolved doctor does not reflect this hospital.” he seemed almost nervous, Dean understood why, his father had just threatened to pull funding. He thought to himself if he were that guy, he'd also be in here begging forgiveness. Luke cleared his throat, “no worries Doctor, I understand where he was coming from, now are we all set to leave?”

Dean stood there watching the awkward interaction, “yes, and one last thing, these are Dean’s prescriptions for painkillers and such” he turned to Dean “this may sound a bit odd but just in case you must refrain from any anal sex for at least three weeks or your stitches will tear.” 

Dean gulped, he didn't have to get fucked for 3 weeks, that sounded good, but before he could reply his father jumped in “thanks doc but Deans not a queer, he’s about as far as you can get from being one,” he said with a chuckle. 

“Come on Dean lets go home it's late,” he said heading out the door, Dean followed close behind muttering a quick thank you to the man as they left. They walked to the end of the hallway and into the lift, they stood in silence as it went down five levels into the lower basement.

As he got into the Lambo Dean struggled with his seat belt, his father helping him buckle it and turning on the car. The loud roar of the engine probably woke the entire neighbourhood Dean thought as they made their way home. Dean tuned out the obnoxious sounds of the car as he rested his head and relaxed his body. He felt his father’s hand on his thigh, but he was too tired to do anything about it, he just wanted to sleep in a bed that wasn't his in the arms of someone who truly loved him. 

But he knew the truth was he was all alone and always would be.


	4. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean runs away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update, I've been trying to deal with online school since my state was put into lockdown

**8.51am Thursday**

Dean had woken up a few minutes ago, he was scrolling through instagram when he heard a soft knocking on his door, he sat up watching as his mother walked in. She looked at him, her eyes red, it was obvious she’d been crying. She sat on the corner of his bed taking a shaky breath, “I’m so sorry, I'm sorry I should be protecting you better”. She pulled him into a hug, as she started sobbing, repeating how sorry she was over and over.

Dean held her for a while, “Mum, there's nothing you can do to stop him, I don't blame you.”

His mother shook her head, “he could have killed you, I came in here yesterday, looking for you and I found the bed and bathtub covered in blood, I thought you were dead.” She sobbed harder, Dean held her as she cried the overwhelming memories from the previous day washing over him, as he started crying too.

“I’m such a bad mother, I need you to know that I love you, I’m sorry for not trying harder.” Dean nodded, “I’m going to stop your father, me turning a blind eye ended up with your brother dead, you’re my only child left, I need to protect you,” she started rambling repeating herself over and over.

Dean sat and watched as she threw herself into a panic, pulling herself from Dean’s embrace and pacing around the room in a panic, talking about ways that they could stop his father.

“Mum, you need to calm down, we have to think logically, there isn't anything we can do, if we leave dad's friends in the force find us. We can't tell any cops because no one will believe us. We just have to live it out. One day he’ll stop.” Dean tried to reassure her realising he was just making things significantly worse.

“We have to leave, we can't stay,” Dean stood up from his bed, walking over to his mother putting his hands on her shoulders, she was so small it was obvious that she’d been losing weight. “Mum everything will be ok, I promise.” his mother bit her fingernails while shaking her head, her eyes tearing up. “It’s not ok, I’m going to talk to him about this, I can’t let this go on and longer,” she said nodding her head while wiping the tears from her eyes. She hugged Dean and walked out of the room closing the door behind her.

Dean climbed back into bed, he wasn't going to interfere, it would only get him more hurt. A message popped up on his screen, it was Mandy asking him if he was alright. He felt bad that he’d been treating her bad the past few weeks and shot her back a text asking if she was free and if she wanted to come over. She replied almost instantly saying that she was on her way.

Dean got out of bed once again, this time going into the bathroom, his legs unsteady as he walked, each step he took causing more and more pain. He remembered the words his father had said the day before “every time you move you will think about me inside you”. Dean ran to the toilet throwing up at the thought of remembering the day before, he wasn't sure he could last the last this sober, standing up and flushing the toilet he opened the cabinet above the sink pulling out the a two pill bottles he found, one was the benzos he had gotten a few days before the other was the painkillers he’d gotten from the doctor the night before. He poured a few of each in his hand and swallowed them.

He closed the cabinet leaving the bottles on the counter, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked more dead than alive he thought to himself, his neck covered in purple choke marks, he had two black eyes both of his lips were split, his nose was disfigured, he looked like he had tried to fight a gorilla and lost. Well metaphorically speaking he was bashed by an easy to anger ape.

He knew there really isn't anything he could do to fix his face. He leaned forward, turning on the water and splashing warm water in his face, his numerous cuts stinging as the water caressed his skin. The taste of his leftover vomit made him gag as he picked up his toothbrush brushed his teeth trying not to stare at the barely human figure looking back at him in the mirror.

He picked up the pill bottles, throwing them on his bed, walking into the walkin he pulled on the first pair of jeans he saw. His phone pinged, walking over to it he saw it was from Mandy, she was telling him she was only a few minutes away. He quickly pulled on a hoodie and threw the pill bottles in his nightstand. He walked out of his bedroom walking down the hallway he stopped at his parents bedroom, listening to the yelling coming from inside. “He’s my son there really isn't much you can do about it”

“I'll go to the cops” his mother replied with some slight hesitation in her voice.

“I'd like to see you try, even if you get there before I kill you, they won't believe you, you're a nutcase who belongs in a loony bin and im a highly respected politician there isn't a high ranking officer in the force that wouldn’t run at my command. You should give up, it's not bad for the kid anyways it’ll toughen him up.”

Dean felt himself tearing up. He didn't want to hear his father say those things to his mum, he sprinted down the hallway and down the steps opening the front door to Mandy's smiling face.

Her face changed in an instant, she looked frightened, running up to him and grabbing his face to assess the damages, Dean flinching at her touch. “What happened to your face and your neck you look terrible.” Dean ushered her inside, closing the door behind her. Looking at her seeing her face full of worry, he pulled her in for a kiss figuring that it would calm her down a little but she pushed him back, grabbing his arm “Dean what happened to your arm?” Dean Pulled his casted arm from her grip. “Can we go to my room I’ll explain there”.

She nodded, following him up the stairs and down the hall, as they walked down the hall he saw Mandy stop at the sound of the yelling coming from the master bedroom. He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into his room as fast as he could run.

As they entered his room he looked at his door behind them, turning around and sitting next to Mandy on his bed. He turned to her, her green eyes staring at him full of concern. “I got beaten up by some kid” not completely sure if he was trying to convince her or himself.

“What really happened Dean, I think you would have won against some kid, this is a lot worse.” she held out her arm, Dean grabbing it and squeezing it tight. He choked back a sob, “umm it was my dad, I pissed him off real bad.”

Mandy stared at him in shock, “Dean this doesn't look like just pissed off, it looks like he tried to kill you,” she pulled him into a tight embrace, Dean felt a little safer in her arms. “I'm so sorry that this happened you deserve better, I’m so sorry” she repeated over and over and Dean collapsed in her arms crying. He was so tired.

**11.30am Thursday**

Dean lay back on the bed, listening as voices neared the room. He curled in a ball and hid his head between his knees as he heard the door open and a slender hand land on his shoulder. “Dean, are you awake?,” Mandy asked him in a soft voice, He nodded, pulling his head from between his knees. Sitting up he looked into her eyes, she wasn't able to hold eye contact, he knew it was bad news. Mandy anxiously bit her lip. “You can only stay the night there's nothing I can do after that, my parents are coming back tomorrow.

Dean tried to swallow the lump at the back of his throat, he knew this would happen. Nothing good can ever happen to him. He nodded, pulling Mandy in for a hug, “ I’ll figure something out, thanks for the help”. She reciprocated the hug apologizing that she couldn't do more.

“Can we just lie here for a while?” he asked, Mandy nodded as they lay in eachothers arms and drifted off to sleep.

The next time he opened his eyes he saw Mandy sleeping next to him, he looked at her face almost hypnotized by her beauty, she was really pretty. Her light brown curly hair scattered on the pillow, a light layer of freckles covering the area around her nose, her plump lips a light pink that reminded him of the roses in spring. He lifted his hand trailing it over her face tracing her cheek bones with the tips of his fingers.

Her eyes fluttered open, smiling before she opened them fully, “hey” he grinned.

“Hi,” She replied with a cheeky smile, “what are you thinking about?” she asked.

“Not much, wanna do something ?” she nodded in response sitting up and stretching. She got up from her bed. “I'll get my laptop and some snacks,” she said as she walked out of the room. Dean saw his opportunity he grabbed his bag from the floor pulling out one of the bottles and walking into the ensuite, he put 5 pills on the white marble countertop next to the sink using the pill bottle to crush them up, turning on the water to hide the noises as he used a $20 bill from his pocket to snort up the white powder. He wiped the end of his nose.

Splashing some water in his face, he looked at his reflection. He thought to himself somehow he looked worse, feeling more nauseous with every millisecond that he looked at himself. He quickly ran to the toilet as he started throwing up, just barely missing the toilet bowl.

He sat on the floor gripping his ankles as he sunk his head in between his knees, his stomach really hurt and his arm hurt, his whole being and existence hurt, he started silently sobbing, as he heard a knocking on the bathroom door, “Dean, are you ok in there?” Mandy's concerned voice echoed through the door.

Dean hummed in response, she probably didn't hear him, “I’m coming in.” she said, raising her voice slightly, as she opened the door, Dean didn't move as he felt her hand touch his shoulder, “lets clean you up she said, he felt the pill bottle getting placed in his hand by the girl in front of him.

She helped him get out of his hoodie that was covered in the unpleasant smelling bile, and helped him pull off his jeans that were uncomfortably wet due to the fact that he was sitting in his own puke. She helped him stand up and walk across the room, She lowered him into the bathtub, turning on the water.

Dean relaxed into the tub as the warm water started encasing his body, he closed his eyes refusing to make eye contact with Mandy, as he heard her moving around the bathroom. Cleaning up the mess he had made. He drifted off as the xanax kicked in and the warm water swallowed him.

A tap on his shoulder brought her out of his daze, he wasn't sure how much time had passed but he guessed it was a lot based on the light starting to disappear from the window beside him. He looked at Mandy. She looked tired, her hair was in a messy bun and there were large bags under her eyes making her look older than she is.

“The water’s cold lets get you into some warm clothes” Dean obliged gripping the sides of the tub as he tried to lift himself out, almost slipping and being caught by Mandy. She wrapped him in a towel and helped him onto her bed, he collapsed under his own weight falling on the feather soft sheets.

He didn't move, staying face planted on the bed, too tired to exert any more energy. “Dean we have to talk about this”, Mandy's voice sounding exhausted. “What's there to talk about” he croaked out. Realising how bad his throat hurt when he talked. He just managed to sit up looking at her. Tugging the towel that was gently wrapped around his waist.

Mandy grabbed his forearm almost caressing the deep scabs. “We have to talk about this, and this” she said gesturing at the deep scratch marks Dean had left on his own thighs and calves. Dean pulled his arm away, suddenly very self conscious he pulled the blanket next to him over his body. “Where are my clothes?” he asked, just wanting to cover himself up.

Mandy stood up from the bed walking over to the closet, throwing them at him. He stood up from the bed putting on his clothes. He didn't want to stay here, he’d just spent the last few hours embarrassing himself. “I should go, I’m sorry for making you deal with my shit”. He picked up his bag looking inside.

His pills were gone. “Looking for these?” Mandy asked her voice sturn. Dean saw her holding his entire stash, she sat cross legged on her desk. “We have to talk about this.”

“This really is none of your fucking business, give me my shit back.” he said going over to grab his things she pulled them away before he could reach them, “No Dean this is clearly a problem, I couldn’t figure what happened before. But obviously this is related to why you got the living shits beat out of you, for god's sake I left the room for five minutes and came back to find you half passed out and covered in puke on my bathroom floor. And then you pass out for nearly five hours in a bathtub.”

“Mind your business none of those things are related, I just haven't been sleeping, so if you could please stop berating me and give me my stuff back, so i can leave” he said making a desperate attempt to get his pills back.

“No, you looking fucking worse every time I see you, when was the last time you ate a full meal, your always white as a ghost, and you disappear a little more each time I see you. You need help and drugs aren't the answer, this is how your brother died” and just like that Dean lost his temper “HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY BROTHER, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM, HE WAS BRAVER THAN I’LL EVER BE, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!”

Mandy swallowed her pride, looking almost scared by the loud yelling in front of her, “I’m sorry, but Dean you need help, I dont want to watch you kill yourself” she said her eyes tearing up.

Dean had a realisation at that moment he didn't want to have to deal with her whiny bullshit, he didn't want people telling him what to do. He reached behind Mandy grabbing the pills she had taken from him and stuffing them in his backpack. “You won't have to watch me ever again, we’re over”, he said picking up his tattered converses from the floor, stomping out of the room before she had time to respond.

He walked out of her house as fast as he could running as he reached the front door, leaving it open as he ran outside in his socks only stopping as he reached the end of the street putting his shoes on, his socks already covered in dirt and dead leaves. He tied his laces and pulled his backpack over his shoulder. It was almost night, he'd have to find somewhere to stay.

**7.39pm Thursday**

He looked up at the sign in front of him, its obnoxious neon vacancy light in the dark winter surrounding him. He walked inside, sitting behind the reception counter stood an angry looking woman. She looked him up and down, she probably thought he was troubled. He was a teenager covered in bruises after all. Dean bit his lip, “can I have a room?” he asked the lady. “Just for the night?” she asked, Dean nodding in response. She typed some things on the computer. “That'll be 50 dollars” she said Dean taking his bag off his shoulder and digging around. And pulling out a few loose bills handing them to the women, she in return handed him his change and a room key, “room 23, its up the staircase on the right”.

Dean dragged his legs up the metal staircase walking down the eerily dark balcony that had one fluorescent light flickering with a loud hum, reaching the room with a 3 hanging upside down, barely being held by its remaining screw. He unlocked the door entering and locking it behind him. Flicking on the light he looked around the room was clean, one double bed with an off colour blue spread. There was a wooden desk with a cheap grey plastic chair across from the bed, it had a microwave and the smallest minifridge Dean had ever seen. The carpet was a brownish beige, he assumed that when they were originally installed they looked a lot lighter and less off colouring from years of bleaching.

He sat on the bed tipping the bag upside down, he looked at the pile of bits and bobs in front of him. He didn't know why he brought a phone charger, he didn't bring his phone. He tossed it on the floor deciding he was going to make a rubbish pile. There was a pair of clean socks, some gum, two bottles of pills and one half bottle, some small baggies with some coke he’d left in the bag weeks ago, some old receipts, a few chewed up pens and the last thing was the roll of bills.

He always took it with him, he found it in Parker's room after he died, he had never counted it but he every week he tried to add some money usually by taking money from his dad's wallet, he was preparing he knew one day he was gonna leave.

He threw himself back on the bed, he needed a plan, the money wouldn't last forever, it couldn't be more than a couple thousand. But now he was tired and wanted to sleep. He separated the garbage from the important stuff on his bed by taking them to the bin under the desk. He put the rest of his important things back in the bag and put the bag under the blanket. He walked across the room turning off the light and climbing into the bed, it wasn't very comfortable but how much better can you expect for a motel that doesn't even bother to ask for ID. He pulled his bag close to his chest anxious at the prospect of losing it. Life had taught him he could never be too careful. He hummed a lullaby his mother used to sing as he drifted off to sleep.


	5. Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, makes a new friend and tries to decide where to from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> took me a bit longer than expected this time, sorry I had an exam this week. 
> 
> TW. Drug usage

**8.12am** **Friday**

Dean slowly opened his eyes, the sunlight coming through the curtains, he thought to himself that it was already morning and he unfortunately was still alive. Untangling himself from his backpack he used the headboard to help himself sit up his muscles aching with each movement. His head pounding he was unsure if his headache was caused by withdrawal, hunger or one of his injuries, concluding it was probably a mix of all of the above. He managed to pull himself out of bed. He undressed leaving his clothes on a pile on the floor. He grabbed the bag and stuffed it under the bed, it was a half assed attempt to hide his things, but he was too tired to think any harder about it.

  
  


He trudged across the room opening the creaky door leading to the grimey bathroom. The room was tiny, just barely fitting the toilet and sink let alone the smallest shower he’d ever seen, so small that you couldn’t sit on the floor of the shower with your knees bent. He turned on the shower stepping inside, the feeling of freezing cold water washing over his body, he fiddled with the knobs but only seemed to get to water too hot or too cold before he gave up and just let the cold water cover him. 

  
  


He turned off the shower stepping out and grabbing the white towel that was surprisingly softer than he expected wrapping it around his waist turning to look at his reflection, his face was still pretty battered although some of the swelling had gone down, he scanned the rest of his body, he thought to himself how he looked like half a person , Mandy was right he was disappearing. He should probably eat something. 

  
  


Walking back into the room he sat on the bed picking up the clothes he’d left on the floor he realised he probably needed some more clothes or at least a change of underwear, he regretted not bringing his jacket. He was freezing. It was always this cold in winter but if felt colder than ever, most likely the badly insulated cheap motel. He could see his own breath. He put on his converses just for the little extra warmth.

  
  


He wasn't sure what he was meant to do at this point, he had no plan and limited funds, he decided that for now the first thing he should do was make sure he had somewhere to sleep that night, he put his bag on his shoulder stuffing his room key in his pocket leaving the room. He opened the door to be faced with a windy chill, it was really foggy. He couldn't really see more than 5 metres in front of himself, he walked down the stairs and across the carpark to the reception. 

  
  


He entered the lobby looking at the person behind the counter. This time it was a boy, he couldn't be that much older than Dean, he thought. He was tall, at least two metres, his face had soft futures with a light 5’oclock shadow that made him look like he was trying to look older than he was. Dean thought to himself the most intriguing thing was probably his hair, it was a light brown but it looked so soft as if it was made of clouds. 

  
  


“Can I help you?” the boy asked. He caught himself staring, he snapped out of his trance looking at the person in front of him, “I’m in 23 and I was hoping to stay a few more nights.” he choked out. The boy looked him up and down, Dean shifted uncomfortably biting one of his nails and staring at the floor. The boy smirked a little “Yeah sure thing but that rooms a shithole, if you want I can put you in a better room”.

  
  


Dean bit his lip reluctantly if he was going to stay here a while he might as well treat himself, remembering that his money was limited, “how much more is it gonna cost?” he asked.

  
  


The tall boy chuckled “I’ll tell you what, same price on one condition, you have to do me a favour.”the tall boy winked. Dean's heart jumped to his throat. He was terrified, propositions like this only ever meant bad things, he took a step closer to the door. 

  
  


The other boy noticed Deans unease and his smile changed to a look of concern. He looked uncomfortable, “sorry I didn't mean to make it sound that weird, I was gonna say if you had some of the breakfast with me, it takes forever for me to set up the table, and no one ever touches it.” He motioned over to a table at the other end of the room, the table had styrofoam cups and electric urn, an assortment of instant tea and coffees, some plastic bowls and different types of cereals. 

  
  


Dean laughed awkwardly, not sure how to break the silence but the tall boy did it for him. “I’m Elijah, didn't mean to sound so weird it's just, I just get bored here and forget how to talk to humans, and I’m sorry if I scared you”, Elijah walked from behind the counter and outstretched his arm, Dean shook his hand “I’m Dean” kicking himself the second he said that, he wasn't sure why he had used his real name. 

  
  


Elijah nodded and walked back behind the counter “so if you still want the room, I got a much better one for you. Well it's a much more average one at least”. Dean nodded “so how many days do you need the room for?” Dean thought for a moment “umm ten for now I guess,” Elijah nodded typing something into the computer, so that’ll be $500, Dean gulped, that was a lot of money. He put the keys from the other room on the counter opening his bag and pulling a handful of bills from the wad, he counted out the money handing the exact cash to the boy across from him. Elijah looked shocked for a moment at the large amount of money being handed to him, nodded and opened the register and put the money inside, he put another key on the counter. “So that's for room 12 it's on the bottom floor,” Dean thanked him and put the key in his pocket, leaving the other one on the counter, “you don't have things you need to take from your room?” Elijah asked.

  
  


Dean shook his head, “perfect, then let's eat” Elijah smiled walking from behind the counter and heading in the direction of the table, Dean followed him and watched as the tall boy started filling a bowl with cereal, Elijah looked at him “don't hold back, come eat. It is free after all”. Dean nodded pounding himself a bowl of cornflakes he wasn't sure he could keep anything less plain down.

  
  


He noticed Elijah had brought two chairs right up to the breakfast table, and was eating a bowl of colourful cereal happily, as he patted the chair next to him indicating that Dean should sit, he sat down next to the boy, he still couldn't really understand why this guy was so friendly. 

  
  


“You’ll like the new room a lot better, Samantha the night manager is a bitch, she likes to scare kids she thinks are gonna cause trouble by giving them the worst rooms.” Elijah said in between bites of his food. Dean raised his eyebrows, “seriously? You have to be joking”

  
  


“I wish I was but yeah, anyways that's why I gave you a discount, I do it every time I notice her doing shady shit like this, what's the point of scaring the customers away from an already failing one star motel” Elijah said, “aren't you going to get in trouble?” Dean asked. Noticing that the boy's friendliness radiated so much that he was starting to feel more comfortable. “Oh, trust me, she wont notice, I have a system.” Elijah chuckled happily. 

  
  


“So tell me something Dean, what brings you to this shithole of a motel, are you a world traveler staying in only that worst of the worst places?” he joked. Dean laughed a little, almost spitting out his cornflakes. “Wait, I've got it! your a traveling fighter, I’d say professional but it looks like you’ve lost a series of fights.” he chuckled, and for the first time in a long time Dean found himself laughing, he usually would be self conscious anytime any injury of his was brought up, but for some reason this time it was funny. 

  
  


Dean couldn't pinpoint what it was but there was something about Elijah, something that made Dean forget about how sad he was, he had only met the boy five minute earlier but he was already so comfortable in his presence. 

  
  


Dean realised that apart from his name he really didn't know anything about Elijah. “So Elijah, tell me about yourself,” Dean asked, surprising himself with his newfound confidence. “Ok, but only if you tell me about you after,” he replied. He nodded in response. Elijah smiled, “well, I’m pretty boring I’m nineteen, I do the morning shift here every day of the week, and this might be the most boring job on the planet, the only regular people you usually see in here are the pay by the hour type, so yeah, it's nice to speak to what I assume is a real human every once in a while.” Dean looked at Elijah, “why do you stay if you hate it here?” Elijah hummed, “relatively easy work for minimum wage, there aren't many better jobs than this one, so Dean now it's your turn, what brings you here?” 

  
  


Dean shrugged in resopne “I haven't decided yet” 

  
  
**11.53am Friday**

Dean stared at the package in his hand, perplexed at what he was seeing, he didn't understand what lamington flavour chips would taste like but he sure as hell knew he wasn't going to find out today. He walked down the isles of the grocery store quickly scanning over the products stopping as he reached the instant noodles, he picked up one of those variety packs that seemed relatively cheap, probably an indicator of its quality, Dean brushed it off eating cheap food wasn't that bad. He needed sustenance not a refined palate.

  
  


He finished picking out his groceries walking to the express checkout line,a young brunette rang up his purchases, “can I get two pouches of winfield blue, a pack of tall-hos and some filters?” he asked the girl. “Sure thing ID please.” Dean handed her his fake ID. It had always worked. It was Parker's ID. They looked enough alike that no one had questioned it before but for some reason today he was worried about it. Dean bit his lip anxiously as the girl compared the photo to the boy in front of her. The girl nodded handing him back to him turning around and unlocking the cabinet to get tobacco. “That’ll be $149.65, cash or card?” the girl asked him. “Cash” he said, handing the girl three fifty dollar bills, he put the instant noodles, gatorade and tobacco in his backpack getting the 35 cents in change and putting it in his pocket, jinggling as it hit the motel key, he walked out of the supermarket.

  
  


He was very aware of the fact that he needed a change of clothes and some toilet trees he swore at himself for not buying any in the supermarket. Anxiously picking his scabbed over self harm cuts, he crossed the street walking in the direction of the secondhand store, he walked in peasantly surprised by the lack of people, he didn't want to spend too long in this place anyway. He walked across the carpeted store running his hand along the clothing racks, stopping as he reached the mens pants, he picked a few warm looking pairs ignoring the sizing as long as it seemed that it would be big on him, he continued in the direction of the tops, picking out three solid colour t-shirts and a x-large hoodie. The last thing he chose was a hooded jacket, it seemed warm enough to help him through the freezing winter. 

  
  


As he walked up to the counter he noticed a display bin filled with packets of socks and underwear, the type that gets donated brand new to the op shop. He grabbed some packets adding them to his pile of clothes and heading to the counter. There was an elderly woman behind the counter who smiled at Dean as he placed the clothes on the counter, “would you like a bag young man?” Dean nodded as the old woman rang up his items painfully slowly. “The total is 87 dollars”, Dean sighed, handing a handful of small bills to the woman watching as she counted them. He’d already spent a lot of money today, he realised he probably didn’t have to buy tobacco but he was anxious enough as it was, and he just wanted a little relaxer. 

  
  


The woman handed him a handful of coins in change and his bag Dean left the store walking in the direction of the tram stop, he wanted to drop all this stuff off at his room before he went anywhere else. 

  
  


Dean got off the tram, walking down the street and into the parking lot of the motel, walking past the reception he saw Elijah distracted by something. Not taking too long to think about it, he walked in the direction of his new room, he opened the door and walked inside, Elijah was right, it was a lot nicer, it was still pretty average though. The carpet was a lot cleaner, there was a small tv mounted on the wall across from the bed, the bedspread was white, and the whole room looked a lot cleaner than the other one. Underneath the tv there was a table, with a small microwave and a kettle, there was a mini fridge under the table, and two comfortable looking chairs. 

  
  


Closing and locking the door behind him, Dean put the bags on the bed taking the clothes out of the bag and placing them in the nightstand next to the bed, and hung the jacket off the back off one of the chairs. He put the noodle soups on the table and the gatorades in the fridge. He zipped his bag up and placed it under the bed taking the pouch rolling papers and filters and putting them is his jacket pocket. He pulled the jacket over his shoulders and opened the door, closing it behind him and sitting on the ground leaning against the door to his room.

  
  


He sat there rolling a cigarette, he placed it between his lips, fishing around his pockets for his lighter. He felt a body next to him, he took a sharp breath in looking over. It was Elijah, grinning, “sorry if I scared you. Can I bum a ciggy?”. Dean nodded in response handing the pouch to Elijah. 

  
  


Dean lit his cigarette taking a sharp breath in looking over to see the taller boy sitting next to him, his back against the grey cinder block wall, he was halfway through rolling his own cigarette. 

  
  


Dean exhaled the smoke, “you got the time?” Elijah nodded putting his smoke between his lips and pulling his phone from his back pocket “almost one thirty” he replied taking the lighter Dean was handing him. Dean saw an extremely skinny woman walking to the reception throwing a slight wave to Elijah. Elijah answered before Dean could ask. “Thats Wendy she usually does the shifts in between me and Samantha”

Dean nodded ashing his cigarette, “you're off for the day then?” he asked. “Off for the weekend, luckily” he replied, “you never told me about yourself” he said nudging Dean in the ribs with his elbow. Dean winced at the pain, he looked up at Elijah who had realised what he had done, he had a look of terror on his face and started profusely apologizing. “It’s nothing, how were you meant to know?”

  
  


Elijah’s face softened at the response, Dean found himself staring at into the other boys eyes, they were a light brown, the way they stared at Dean it was as if they could see into his soul, and Elijah was staring back, he felt his heart skip a beat and bit his lip to try calm himself, he quickly looked back to the ground trying to focus on his shoes, unsure of what he was feeling in that moment.

  
  


He felt Elijah’s knee touch his own, confused as to why it seemed his heart was beating faster he jumped up, stuffing the pouch in his pocket, muttering about having to do something. He stepped on his half smoked ciggy. As he shuffled through his pocket for the room key he felt Elijah lightly grip his casted arm. “Are you ok?” he asked softly, his voice full of concern.

  
  


Dean gulped, confused as to what he was feeling, he fished the keys out of his pocket sticking them in the lock and unlocking the door, turning to Elijah, “look, I’m sorry but I have to do something, and just if you happen to see anyone talking about me or something please don't tell them where I am” he pleaded with the tall boy. Elijah nodded letting go of Deans arm and taking a step backwards. As Dean shut the door almost in Elijah's face.

  
  


Dean leaned against the door sliding down as he gripped his chest, the feeling making him almost nauseous, he didn't understand why he felt this way he had wanted to kiss Elijah back there, he didn’t know why. He barely even knew the guy, and he was a guy, but there was something about Elijah that made him feel so safe, he made him feel something other than disgust or self hatred, and he wanted to feel it more. 

  
  


He stood up looking through the peephole, seeing Elijah was standing outside biting his nails, Dean thought to himself that Elijah was probably contemplating if it was worth exerting his energy into being nice to the random kid that just shut the door in his face. 

  
  


Dean watched as Elijah stood at the door, but then he backed away and walked across the parking lot and got into his car.

  
  


Dean walked into the bathroom turning on the cold water and splashing it in his face, he looked up at his reflection. He concluded that these weird heating in his heart were the withdrawals, he’d had ones like these before. He walked into the room pulling his bag from beneath the bed, pulling one of the baggies out, he used his fake ID on the nightstand to cut lines and grabbing one of the bills from the tightly rolled bundle he snorted them.

  
  


Throwing his head back and pinching his nose he collapsed on the bed waiting for his high to kick in.

  
  
  


**8.41pm Friday**

  
  


Dean thanked the cashier and walked out of the pharmacy. He hadn’t been sure of what to buy so he bought multiple of the same travel kits. They were relatively cheap and contained the bare essentials, toothbrushes, toothpaste,dental floss, small shampoos and conditioners and mini body wash bottles. He'd also gotten a spray deodorant and some ibuprofen. He stuffed everything into his backpack and walked across the street, the pharmacy was almost an hour from the motel but he hadn’t come all the way across the city for a pharmacy. It was the bottle shop across the street. In the alley behind from a tiny apartment above the store Conner pushed. He was a sketchy kid with a short fuse in his early twenties, his coke was mostly laxatives but he had some good pills and some average weed. Conner had some very distinctive features namely his face tats, oversized muscles and absolute refusal to wear anything but a tank top.

  
  


Dean walked down the dimly lit alley and up the metal staircase, knocking on the door. It opened and Conner nodded as he saw him, closing the door and unhooking the latch, opening the door again and letting Dean in. “Oi, rich boy long time no see.” he said in with a slight speech impediment fistbumping Dean. They walked down a narrow corridor and into a room that could barely be called a living room, the only furniture in the room was an upside down milk crate, some bean bags and a tv that was clearly stolen. Dean sat on the milk crate and Conner sat across from him on one of the bean bags, “so what’ll be?”he asked. Dean thought about it for a minute. “An ounce of green and fifty xannys”. He said, “sure thing mate, that’ll be a nine fifty. 

  
  


Dean nodded pulling a wad of cash he’d precounted from his pocket and handing it to Conner. Conner counted it before standing up and leaving the room. Dean heard the large man's heavy footsteps down the hallway. It was only a few minutes later when Conner came back into the room handing the smaller boy a plastic bag. Dean quickly thanked Conner and headed towards the door. He left the cramped apartment walking down the metal staircase, he walked out of the dark alley and out onto the street, he looked over to the bottle shop, thinking he should grab his opportunity while he was here he walked inside the store and down the isles picking out two relatively cheap bottles of vodka and some Raw rolling papers. He walked over to the counter noticing the display behind the man it looked like they were switchblades and pocket knives. The man in front of him asked for his ID, Dean pulled out the same one he’d used a hundred times before and handed it to the man.

  
  


“Hey man are those pocket knives he nodded to the display. “Yeah, these are butterfly knives, switchblades and a variety of pocket knives” he said, handing Dean the ID back. “Nice dean replied, can i get a small pocket knife and a switchblade, please.”. The man nodded, grabbing one of each and finished ringing up Dean's purchase. Dean paid and placed all the things in his bag, making sure not to crush any pills.

  
  


He stepped out of the store adjusting the heavy bag on his sore back as he walked to the tram stop, the tram arriving just as he got the he walked to the back of the tram and sat down staring out the window into the freezing night.


	6. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean get high

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update, if it counts as an excuse I was in the psych ward for a bit.

##  **10.09am Saturday**

Dean had been up a while he wasn’t sure how long but he was starting to get bored of the ceiling above him, he sat up in bed rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he had no idea what to do, long term he was screwed he had only started with a little over six thousand and he already had less than four. He had nowhere to go, he had left his passport at home and there was no point in leaving the state, it wouldn't make a difference.

  
  
  


He leaned back, his back against the headboard. He decided before he overthinks too much he might as well light up. He grabbed his bag pulling out the weed and rolling papers, as well as the pocket knife. He used a mug from the table and the scissors on the cheap pocket knife to chop the weed. Rolled a cone of the tips to make the filter satisfied with the perfect little letter M in the middle, he placed the filter between his lips. He grabbed one of the papers and carefully put the tiny spice sized flakes on the folded crevice he placed the filter in there, tucking the corners of the joint and rolling it, licking the tip along the length of the paper. He rolled the end of the joint to avoid any fallout. 

  
  


He repeated the process over and over, it was calming and a singular thing to think about rather than the current massive situation. By the time he snapped back into focus he had rolled about twelve joints, it had probably been at least thirty minutes and he had barely noticed the time pass. 

  
  


He decided not to waste the opportunity and took a handful of the joints to the bathroom opening the small window above the toilet, Dean sat on the sink counter leaning over so that his face was next to the window. He smoked them back to back as fast as he could blowing the smoke out of the bathroom window. 

He stood up struggling to walk in a straight line walking over to his bed and collapsing onto it, the sensation of floating of clouds encased him as he drifted off to sleep.

  
  


##  **6.15pm Saturday**

Dean had been in and out of consciousness most of the day, at some point he’d turned on the tv it made good background noise, yesterday he’d bought enough Xanax to kill a horse. Throughout the day he’d taken a few here and there, he’d mostly slept but in between sleeping he stared at the ceiling a lot.

  
  


Dean rolled over reaching out to the loose pills on the nightstand. He grabbed a few, bringing them to his mouth, he wasn't sure what he’d just put in his mouth but it didn't matter what it was.

He tried to swallow them realising that his mouth was too dry, he sat up, tried to look around the room, he spotted the gatorade on the desk across the room. He stood up walking across the room struggling to keep his balance, he felt almost weightless at this moment. Gripping the wall to steady himself. Reaching the table he washed down the pills. The partly dissolved pills leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

  
  


Dean leaned against the cold wall behind him breathing in the stale air in the room around him as he slowly slid down the wall. Dean's head was pounding, he had no sense of the day or time all he could make sense of was that he's completely and utterly fucked. He has no plan and is barely functioning as a human. He gripped the wall picking himself up from the floor and stumbling back to the bed.

  
  


Dean stared at the ceiling drifting back into unconsciousness, as thoughts of Parker drifted in front of his eyes. He looked so happy he looked free, Dean wanted to be happy, He wanted to be free.


	7. Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wakes up a day later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cos of my long hiatus I'm posting 2 short chapters at once,

###  **1.34pm Monday**

Dean had probably only been awake about five agonising minutes, but everything hurt. He couldn't think straight, his breathing was rattling and the faint eco for the tv he couldn't remember turning on, he slowly opened his eyes, flinching at the sunlight seeping through the windows. 

  
  


Well it's daytime, he thought, unable to make sense of the time. Closing his eyes he tried to focus on the sounds around him. There was a noise coming from the tv, it sounded like there was a woman reporting on the weather. The sounds on the tv faded and everything was quiet for a bit. 

  
  


There was a sudden loud rattling noise, Dean wearily opened his eyes seeing the tv still on, hearing the loud rattling turning to a knocking as the sounds around Dean started separating and changing into their own distinct commotions. It was the door, Dean ignored the noise as he drifted away again. 

  
  


He rolled over, the hard cold surface he couldn't recognize the feeling sending chills through his body. The feeling of a cold liquid covering his shirt and a potent smell filling his nose. As he drifted away.

  
  


###  **7.23pm Monday**

Everything was quiet, unlike last time the smell was gone, and he was surrounded by clouds, warm clouds. He slowly opened his eyes, slowly sitting up, he tried to collect his thoughts, he was in a bed. He couldn't remember how he’d gotten there, his shirt was gone and the tv was off.

  
  


While trying to figure out what had been going on for the past few hours, he heard the sound of the toilet flushing and jumped, was he in his room? it looked like it but who else would be in here. He tried to get out of the bed becoming entangled in the doona and stumbling onto the floor, his whole body aching.

  
  


“Woah there, where are you going” a male voice spoke. Dean flinched, staring at the ground, not wanting to face the consequences of whatever it was he’d gotten himself into, he grabbed the blanket pulling it over his head, tucking his head between his knees. 

  
  


He just wanted to disappear, he had no memory of what had happened, he didn't know what day it was or how long it had been since he had been actively thinking. He knew that whatever happened he needed to defuse the situation and get out of wherever he was safely. 

  
  


“Hey whoever you are, I think this was an accident. I really can’t remember what happened”, he said his voice trembling, too terrified look. 

  
  


“Dean it's ok, you’re ok, it’s just me” the male voice softened it was familiar, it was warm. Dean pulled the blanket off his head looking up to see Elijah, somehow his eyes looked nicer and his hair looked softer than it ever had. Dean felt more relaxed before he collected his thoughts. Why was Elijah in his room, had he slept with him, he couldn't have taken advantage of him he seemed so nice. Dean shifted uncomfortably making an effort to stand on his feet. As he stood he noticed Elijah putting out his hand to help Dean, he slapped his hand away. He tried to seem as confident as he could before confronting him.

  
  


“What are you doing in my room?” he said, keeping a steady tone. Elijah almost shrunk a little, “I um, you were like really bad, I thought you were gonna die. When I came in you were passed out covered in your own vomit surrounded by empty bottles and pills.” Dean was still unsure about it “why were you in here, I didn't let you in here what the fuck were you doing when I was unconisous?”

  
  


Elijah looked taken aback by the question, “the guy in the room next to you was complaining it sounded like someone was dying in here, I came to check on you when my shift was done, and when you didn't answer the door I let myself in. You looked like you were dying and I was gonna take you to the hospital but the news was on. I didn't want you to get in trouble. I don't know why you ran away from home but I didn't want to get caught up in whatever shit you’ve pulled yourself into.” 

  
  


Dean felt bad, it sounded like Elijah was honestly worried about him. “Wait what do you mean news? What was on the news?” Dean questioned knowing that it could only mean a few very bad things. Elijah bit his lip “when I came in your dad was on the tv talking about you being missing and in possible danger, you didn't tell me your father was the treasurer.”

  
  


“Fuck, fuck, fuck” Dean muttered as he started pacing he looked up at elijah, “you didn’t tell anyone I was here, right?” he said, pushing past Elijah walking towards the door looking through the peephole to check that no one was out there, he turned to look at Elijah, who looked at him with worry. “Dean, what did he mean you could be in possible danger?”

  
  


“He’s lying, the only danger I’m in is from him, especially now that I left,” he huffed, throwing himself onto the bed. “What do you mean?” the tall boy questioned, Dean lifted his casted arm 

“He did this, and this too” he said while motioning to his face. “And everything else too” he said looking down at his shirtless chest it was more bruises than skin at this point.

  
  


Dean sat up looking over at Elijah, his face was an unreadable expression, “and that's only the half of it” Dean said, trying to lighten the mood. “So, where’s my shirt?” Elijah snapped out of his daze. “ Umm it was covered in puke so I washed it. I can uh go check if it’s dry if you’d like” he replied stuttering over his words

  
  
  


“No its ok, I’ll just wear a different one” he stood up grabbing one of the shirts from his backpack, pulling it over his head wincing at the feeling of the shirt grazing some of his open wounds. He looked up to see Elijah just staring at him from across the room. 

  
  


Dean knew exactly what was going through Elijah's head, he probably thought Dean was just a drug addict lying about his father to avoid getting sober, biting his nails he realised that he had to contain this, someone knew who he was and where he was. That was a problem he needed was to convince his way out of it. Stepping closer to Elijah he did something that was familiar for him.

  
  


Dean wrapped his arms around Elijah's neck pulling him into a kiss, as he slid his hand into Elijah's pants he felt a strong vice-like grip around his wrist and a hand pushing him away, Dean opened his eyes and saw Elijahs face he looked like hed been punched, “what the fuck are you doing?” he questioned, absolutely stunned by the event that had just transpired.

  
  


Dean took a step back, it was the first time in his life that had happened, he knew why, Elijah though he was ugly, no one wants to fuck a used up whore. He threw himself face first onto the bed before turning over and sitting up, “I'm sure we can not tell anyone you know who I am, and I'll make it worth your while” he said pulling his pants to his ankles before looking up at Elijah who still hasn't moved but his facial expression showed what could only be described as horror. Noticing his displeasure Dean improvised “I know that the face can be a bit off putting so you don't have to look at me, we should just make this go away.” 

  
  


Elijah took a step towards the bed sitting on the floor with his back up against the baseboard, “I don't want anything from you Dean, I'm here because I was worried and I stayed because I care. I'm not gonna tell anyone that you're here, you don't need to bribe me, I thought we were friends” his voice broke at the end of his sentence. Dean pulled his pants back up looking over at the tall boy staring at the floor in front of him. 

  
  


Dean wasn't sure what to do. He just sat there for a minute before he sat on the floor next to Elijah on the floor, “I’m sorry it usually goes differently, I guess I didn't realise you straight” he said. “I'm not, but generally I’m not the biggest fan of being bribed with sex from someone I thought was a friend.” He replied looking up at Dean, “ I don’t know what you've been through but I can understand why you wouldn't want anyone knowing where you are, I won't tell anyone, I promise.” 

  
  


Elijah rested his head back closing his eyes and sighing, Dean sat beside him and leaned his head on Elijah's shoulder, just sitting in the awkward silence, muttering a almost silent “I’m sorry” as he felt a tear roll down his cheek.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading
> 
> Also i feel the need to mention i don't condone any of the behaviour or actions in this story


End file.
